Winter

An old poem, written in a dark time of my life, forgotten until recently

winter,
and the trees shed their leaves
leaving but emptiness around me
its good to breath
I need space to be

But that space becomes me
and so sorrow takes over
longing for love
or just a simple cover

I hide in darkness my pain
that has built a ship
just for sinking
because my feet need to dip
in the ocean as vast as the space in between
me and myself
and god, I long to have been

not to be not to feel
but to disappear
with a last gesture of faith
in the balance of all
and then just like the leaves I will cushion my fall
let the wind carress me into a slumber; a dance
and start life anew

give the earth another chance
let it feast on my remains
and thrive and break free
so that I may be transformed
into bigger than me
and thus become one with the mother that gave
me the life that I loved, but no longer crave
and my dust will live on
and travel the plains
but without me myself
and my ridiculous pains